heavy

The pellet delivery man came yesterday, with great drama. First off, as he peered through our glass, front-door, he jumped back in fright as I pulled the door open, almost falling down the small embankment to the driveway. I guess, with all of the tree reflections he couldn’t see that I was standing right on the other side of the door. Of course, it didn’t help that I am about a foot taller than him…needless to say, I scared him.

He was frustrated, and proceeded to speak rapidly, in an accent which I absolutely could not understand, about something which happened to his truck on our little access road. Great guy created a road to the main house a few years ago, carving out a twisty, turny path with a bugger (digger) – sorry, the word “bugger” auf deutsch makes me laugh and laugh every time I hear it. The road allowed the tenants to drive up to the house and not have to park under the bridge and walk the remaining 50 meters. For some reason, on this occasion, delivery man totally wrecked his giant truck. He backed into the small retaining wall, tearing off a big chunk of the bumper, or some such thing (it was a 2 ft by 2ft, black, plastic thing – I didn’t understand, of course).

He demanded a saw from me. He said he needed to cut down a tree. That I understood, but had no idea what he was talking about. His tone began to change and he condescendingly started to talk to me like I’m a deaf child. That did not make me happy. Anyways, I got a saw, and watched while he sawed down a small tree growing out of the train tracks next to the road (seemed very random to me). Then, I watched as he got back into the truck and backed it up the small incline, almost driving straight off the ledge and onto the train tracks below. Oh my, that truck would’ve flipped right over.

Then rock ‘n roller and his wife, jülchen, came, at which point I preceeded to stop any further attempts of communicating with delivery man. Eventually the 3 large pallets of pellets were safely unloaded and all was well in our little world again.

Until…rock ‘n roller invited me to go climbing with him at a nearby climbing wall. I said that I’m not great at climbing and was trying to explain to them auf deutsch why that is. Rock ‘n roller interrupted me and said in English, “because you’re too heavy”. OH MY, you should’ve seen jülchen’s reaction! I thought she was going to divorce him on the spot! I just laughed and said he was right – my arms aren’t strong enough to lift the rest of my body (aka: my fat ass). She swore at him and he just looked at me, shrugged his shoulders, and said, “now I’m an asshole”. I told jülchen not to worry about it, great guy would’ve said the same thing (he just bought a bigger motorcycle seat so I can fit on it without crushing him – how sweet).

So, now my only goal each day, is to run 3 km, to try and avoid the pounds of erdnüsse (peanuts) we have in the house, and to dream of the day when I’m not too heavy to climb a wall or too big to ride on a motorbike.