I have a new friend who I like very much. She is warm, funny, cares about me and is infatuated with a man who is not her husband. The first time this came up, was while we were walking to the train station, about to go out on the town. All of a sudden, she said, “Nina, today I asked a man to go out with me!” She said it while laughing, giddily, like a school girl with a big ‘ol crush. I was like, “What?!”
In the weeks since then, the ‘I-asked-him’ turned into ‘he-said-yes!’ And, a couple of nights ago, she showed up at our door, plopped her tiny self on the bench across from me, and said, “Oh Nina, I think I’m in love”. I knew she was not referring to her husband.
Her husband knows about all of this, but does not take her infatuations seriously. They love each other, and he thinks that’s all there is to it. He basically shrugs his shoulders and smiles when she starts talking about the other man she wants to see. (This situation created one of those ‘get-to-know-you-better’ talks, between great guy and I. I told him that there is not a chance in hölle (hell) that I would handle my partner talking about the other person he really wants to date! Thankfully, he said pretty much the same thing, except in German.)
And now, I sit here, wanting her to come by and dreading it at the same time. She sent me an SMS (text) the other day saying that she needs to talk to me, exciting things are happening! I like her a lot, but… I ran into her husband at the grocery store yesterday and he seems totally fine, and happy in his normal ‘I’m not-really-happy way’.
I have told her what I think – that she’s married, that she should definitely not cheat on her husband, and what would she do if her husband was doing the same thing to her? She said she can’t imagine that scenario because he never would. But, he also doesn’t seem to care at all about what she’s doing – that’s not really right either.
What to do, what to do? Am I supposed to do something? Or, can I just enjoy having a friend here who is interested in how I’m doing, wants to spend time with me, and who I can really talk to?
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